Marin County Supervisor
VOTE FOR THE DEMOCRAT
VOTE FOR SAM
write-in Sam Friedlander
"Sam is so green he hugs trees."
Every time I look at a wooden table, I cry. The table cries out to me, "Why are you hurting me? Why did you cut me up to make a table? I did nothing wrong. I freshen the air for you humans to breathe."
The wooden pencils are weeping. The paper pages of books are screaming in agony. They beckon me to run for Marin County Supervisor, weeping to me "Sam save me."
Yes, I will save you trees.
Dearest Beloved Citizens of District Two of Marin County,
My name is Sam Friedlander. I’m an ALS patient, seeking to become a first ALS-Reversal to inspire those with terminal illness.
I seek to become your new Marin County Supervisor, as a write-in candidate (Write in “Sam Friedlander.”).
I am a man of the people. I come from the poor 6-figure side of the tracks in Bon Aire Hills. I know what it means to not be in the top 1%. I know what it means to fly coach and never dine at The French Laundry. Join my campaign to preserve and protect Marin to:
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Stop bicycle theft.
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Start a first-ever ALS comedy reality TV show.
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Suppress the Republican vote.
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Hold Monthly “Cutest Puppy of Marin” contests with calendar revenue.
I’m the only candidate with Revenue-generating ideas.
Some people believe in Capitalism.
Some people believe in Socialism.
Some people believe in Communism.
I believe in Opportunism.
I believe in Plagiarism.
I believe in Alphabetism and am an avowed and leading Alphabetist. (Alf:e:be:tism)
If you cherish Marin and want to preserve and protect it, join me. Vote for the Democrat. Vote for Sam.
Endorsed by a fan of Maria Menunos and a New York Times reader.